Handling Children on the ‘Help’ Button

“Now, when you find somebody who is totally obsessed on ‘got to help others,’ ‘can’t be helped for self’ — if he’s totally obsessed along this line, he’s already plowed in and he doesn’t begin sessions well at all. And there your expertness is tremendously required.

“But one of the ways to do it and one of the ways to handle this situation, exactly parallels a case of a little child — very acquainted with this little child seeing as how it’s my little child. And the only reason I’m ringing this in is it’s just to make it perhaps a little clearer to you about this sort of thing.

“This little kid, very sweet little kid, very helpful and very bright, nevertheless had an awful obsession about help — could not be helped. Still a baby falling around on the floor, you offer this little kid a pair of shoes, try to put his booties on it, you know, and rrrrrhhh. You know? Try to give it its cereal, you know, and bluyoow, spit it out. ‘No, I’ll do it myself,’ this sort of a thing, you know.

“And if you let the little kid do it herself, why, she’d eventually get into the groove and eat. You know? But if there was anything direct in offered help — I’ve seen this little kid fall down on the floor, cry, sob, go into tantrums and so forth because somebody was trying to give her an apple. Get the idea?

“Here was an obsessed help outflow, to such a degree, that there was no help inflow possible. It was a bad situation, very bad situation because nobody could do anything for this little girl. Undoubtedly had just got through having a rough time with it in the last life, you know? Everything else very sweet, very nice and so forth. But just try to help her just once . . . .

“And her nanny and others around the house were getting very baffled as to what they did about this one. Couldn’t dress her, yet she liked to wear nice clothes. She’d say, ‘Give me some of that jam.’ Her nurse would start to give her some jam and boom! But the child asked for the jam! You see? Sometimes it would go this way, ‘Give me some jam. No, put it on a cracker, not on bread.’ Nanny going right along, put it on a cracker, not on bread, try to give it to the child, the child would roll up in a ball and scream. This is a baffling situation, isn’t it? Of course, it’s just a little baby, only about two-and-a-half, three.

“What do you do? What do you do about something like this?

“Well, she had a papa that knew something about preclears and met one or two in his day. So, I taught the child to do some helpful things, no matter how difficult it was to teach the child to do these helpful things — more or less got around to it — which was simply, lay out my clothes. It goes much faster to get the clothes out myself, you know, but I never let the little girl show up without persuading her to help me. She could no more than shove her nose in the door than — help me. See? Get me this. Get me that. Very good at it too, you know, very accurate. Better than the older children.

“Work herself to death. You know? … Run around with her tongue hanging out. You know, just zip, zip, flash, flash. Open drawers, get them all squared away.

“Now, at first the child would be laying out some clothes — the child had to lay out all of the clothes. No assistance whatsoever could be given. You couldn’t even indicate the right drawer without terrifically upsetting the child, see. Couldn’t possibly do it.

“And finally, just this morning, my man was laying out a shirt and the little girl came in, got the shirt out before he could put his hands on it, put it over on the bed, started taking pins out of this shirt. Little girl started taking pins out of the shirt. It’s a rather risky proposition, both for the little girl and for the fellow who is going to put on this shirt. Man came over and said, ‘Let me show you how to take the pins out.’ Little girl said, ‘Okay.’ And he said, ‘Now,’ he says, ‘You put them over — put the pins over on the table as fast as we take them out.’ They took all the pins out of the shirt and she passed over into his hands quite happily. Ah, this is an interesting change. It’s an interesting change.

“Little girl is very calm. I haven’t seen her go into a tantrum now for weeks.

“All I did was set about, in the physical universe, to work out this obsessive help outflow. See? I just set it up to work it out, completely aside from the fact the little girl was a friend of mine.”
RON HUBBARD – from lectures 20th American ACC, THE FIRST POSTULATE, Beginning and Ending Session, Gaining Pc’s Contribution to the Session 17 July 1958

 

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