How difficult people find it to just let others “BE”! Parents want to change their children, wives and husbands want to change each other … and so it goes. The Granting of Beingness is a great enabler on the road to a happier life.
“The ability to assume or to grant (give, allow) beingness is probably the highest of human virtues. (virtue: good or desirable quality). It is even more important to be able to permit (allow) other people to have beingness than to be able oneself to assume it.”
L. Ron Hubbard – Excerpted from PAB 83 on The Conditions of Life 8 May 1956.
The preclear has gotten into a state, ordinarily, where he is the only one who can grant beingness, but he has so long restrained other people from granting life to things that he himself will no longer grant any life to things.
(Creation Of Human Ability, p. 56)
If you think about it, all your success depends upon other people. People can give you opportunities, money, contracts, praise, support, help, and advice. They can recommend you to other people who will also give you what you need.
People can also stop your success. They can criticize you, oppose you, and close down your progress. Even if they do not actively oppose you, they can avoid you, hide your options or simply do nothing for you.
But if you become an effect of their misemotion you will only make matters worse for yourself and you lose in the end. You are, and always will be, the cause of any situation you are reacting to, so it is necessary to step back and honestly examine what you are doing to create such a situation.
When you make others happy, you own an important people skill. They want to help you. Even better, making people happy makes you feel great!
“But above all those things, is an individual’s ability to grant beingness to the moment. Grant beingness to the past, to the future, grant beingness to others, grant beingness to his own objects; and grant beingness and then not be afraid of it. And having granted beingness, why, go right on granting more beingness, rather than stop granting beingness simply because some of it bit him. …
“One cannot become able in life by fearing to live it. Never. And he can’t be himself without being willing to grant beingness, because he’s the only one that can grant beingness to himself.”
L. Ron Hubbard – Excerpted from the lecture The Granting of Beingness which was delivered on 18 December 1953.
Does trying to change people make them happy? The answer is definitely “NO”. Everyone has an identity. It’s what they want to be. You can call it their “beingness.”
Trying to make people change their beingness is a common activity.
Married people often try to change each other’s beingness. This is the road to disaster.
The only way a person will change is by their recognition of the need for change and their choice and willingness to do so. No amount of force from another will bring about positive change – only bad reactions!
How do you feel when someone tries to change your beingness? Perhaps you feel resentful. You might even want to attack the person. You certainly do not feel happier.
“Most people go through life not only not recognizing their aberrations or their beingness, but thinking that everything they do is right and everything everybody else does is completely wrong.
“Now, the one peculiar thing which distinguishes a Scientologist from people, the one little thing—the one little thing that distinguishes it—is frankly after somebody has studied Scientology, had some processing, and so forth, no matter how mad he gets, no matter how upset he gets, no matter how sick he gets, he never quite loses this little tiny bit of realization that he’s doing something peculiar and something a bit aberrated and that something is happening here that he has something to do with. You got it? He just never quite loses that point of cause.”
L. Ron Hubbard Excerpted from the lecture The Point Where the PC Begins to Get Clear delivered on 1 September 1962. This can be found in the Clearing Success Congress lectures
Imagine how the world would be if everyone granted beingness to everyone else. No more discrimination because of the color of your skin. Women would be treated as fairly in business as men. Everyone could join whichever religion they preferred.
Career choices would come from the heart. You and everyone around you could map out your own lives. You could be whoever you wanted to be.
Such a world is possible. It starts with granting beingness. It leads to massive happiness.
As an exercise in the Granting of Beingness try the following ……
- Just Grant beingness to everyone you meet today. Let them be whoever they want to be. Make no attempt to change their beingness.
- If someone irritates you, grant him or her beingness. For example, if another driver on the road makes you mad, grant him beingness. If someone appears odd or ugly to you, grant this person beingness.
- If you hate someone, grant him or her beingness. You can do this right now, without even seeing the person. It may not be easy, but the rewards can be interesting, if not amazing.
Watch how others respond to you when you grant them beingness.
You may be surprised! You may discover you now have the skill to make anyone happy.