Married Life Today

In these difficult times of virtual World lockdown keeping a family going and together is not the easiest of tasks, and as LRH says a family relationship is a postulated relationship. However, behind all this is the ability to communicate freely with each other.

This is a Post we have sent out previously but with many people cooped up in small apartments and facing the stresses that this can bring we decided to reissue it in a new unit of time.

“The familial relationship is basically a postulated relationship. When people stop postulating it, it ceases to exist, and that is what happens to most marriages. People stop creating the family unit, and the moment they stop creating it isn’t. It’s not that all men are evil so therefore contracts such as marriage dissolve usually in infidelity. The reverse is true: that when you have a purely postulated relationship which has no real existence in fact, you have to continue to create it.

And a family which doesn’t continue to create itself as a family will cease to exist as a family. And that’s about all you need to know about it.”
LRH lecture “Marriage”, 2 Jan 1960, quoted in “The Second Dynamic”, page 2

Even though the excerpt below is aimed at the work environment it is also very applicable to a marriage! To create a harmonious successful marriage requires tech and understanding of the tools available to us.

The ingredients of successful work are training and experience in the subject being addressed, good general intelligence and ability, a capability of high affinity, a tolerance of reality, and the ability to communicate and receive ideas.

Given these things there is left only a slim chance of failure. Given these things a man can ignore all of the accidents of birth, marriage or fortune; for birth, marriage and fortune are not capable of placing these necessary ingredients in one’s hands.

One could have all the money in the world and yet be unable to perform an hour’s honest labor. Such a man would be a miserably unhappy one.”
Ron Hubbard, Founder The Problems of Work, “The Man Who Succeeds,” page 112

[The preclear] has been given roles by the motion pictures and television, and his propaganda textbooks, until he will only accept a role which is generally approved by this society as represented in fiction.  This could be said to be an intentionally fictionalized society. 

Marriages quite often go to pieces simply because Jim Jones and Mary Smith did not get married.  Jim Jones, posing as Alan Ladd, marries Mary Smith, posing as Lana Turner, and a fictional Alan Ladd married to a fictional Lana Turner is going to be disappointed.”
LRH, “The Creation of Human Ability [1955], page 179

“If we were to try to enunciate the simplest possible rule for happiness in love and in marriage, we might say something like this: The successful sex relationship depends upon man and woman reaching a high degree of agreement on immediate and long-term goals and maintaining that agreement without establishing a CAUSE and EFFECT relationship.  Both individuals must be CAUSE within the sex relationship, or it will degenerate into a mere master-slave relationship or a domination-nullification relationship….

“And how can one individual be the CAUSE of another’s actions without making that other individual into an effect? Can this be done?

“The way to become CAUSE of another’s actions is to assume responsibility for them without controlling the other’s execution of them.

“If all married persons would begin to assume responsibility for each other’s actions and would treat those actions as their own, most of the trouble in marriage would be eliminated.”
LRH, “Establishing a Cause Relationship”, from The Second Dynamic, pages 44-45

This last excerpt is a tricky one … Bill drops his wife’s favorite plate on the kitchen floor. Her immediate reactions… “Now look what YOU have done you idiot!”:

But on further examination of what LRH has to say regarding how …

“to become CAUSE of another’s actions” we can see that the trick is to learn how to “assume” sufficient “responsibility” for the other person “without controlling the other’s execution of them.”

 

 

 

 

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